In seekers and skeptics posts, I write specifically for those outside of the Christian faith. I know some will be considering the faith, some will be exploring spiritually, and some will come to any consideration of Christian claims with considerable suspicion. If this describes you at all, I’m glad you’re here. Welcome!
Speaking of life change. “Rogaine changed my life!” If you ever happen to find yourself standing behind me, you will instantly discover two things.
First, I never tried Rogaine, which promises to treat baldness. Second, I appear to be a good candidate for Rogaine. As ubiquitous as cockroaches in a rundown apartment complex are the advertisements on our screens promising life change.
(Ok. Ok. I tried Rogaine once, for a day. It felt stupid and I threw all the icky bottles away. Back then my balding spot looked like a monastic tonsure style haircut, so I went with it. I got TONS of compliments at the local convent of sisters, “Who cuts your tonsure, Father?” I was pretty hip, NOT. As is not one compliment… 🙄)
We make fun of these advertisements, dismiss them as gimmicks and get on with our day to day lives. Yet sometimes we want the gimmick because we want our lives to change. At best the gimmick usually gets us going for an enthusiastic or often merely aspirational start at getting our acts together.
“This time will be different!”
Gives way to
“Eh, maybe next time”.
Do These Three Things:
1. Change your Daily Schedule
2. Change your Weekly Schedule
Life change is a massive pile off nails, stacks of wood, and a big red box of tools. There are enough materials to build an impressive two-story house. A house is built in stages, from the foundation to the exterior, to the interior, to furnishing, and finally to the decorating. Before you begin you need to have some idea of the kind of house you want to build. 🏠
Sketch out the “house” (the kind of life you want) define your goals, and make an action plan; then, with right tools for the job (and maybe you need someone to show you how to use those tools properly) get to it. Great, you probably knew all of that. There are tons of books and blogs in the self-help category to help you scaffold your schedule for life change.
For all the affirmations, dreaming, and scheming, at the end of the day if you want to change your life you have to change your schedule. If there is no time carved out in solid stone in your week to pursue your goal then your plan will fail. How often? Pretty much every single time.
How ‘s that for motivation? Want to change?
Then your change your schedule!!!
Here’s The Third Thing to Do To Change Your Life
3. Change Your Circle of Influence
From Scripture to social science to social media we know that our motivation is massively maligned or massively magnified by the people around us. However, most of us cannot and should not simply dump our present circle of friends, family, and co-workers to “upgrade” our circle of influence.
Beware the lie! 😲
There is a a dangerous idea that floats around our lives, the “only if” lie.
“Only if I looked like her, only if I was married to him, only if I was single, only if I had money, only if I was younger, older, only if I lived somewhere else, only if, etc.”
The “only if” lie is a terrible influencer. Why? Because of instead of motivating you to look at the materials you have to work with and getting busy building, it slumps you on the couch of unhelpful comparison and sometimes, dangerous resentment.
Sure, you may need to step back on some relationships that are less than helpful or set firm boundaries with negative people, but you can begin to change your life right now in your present circumstances. Often, if you do that, not only will you change for the better, but you will lift up the people around you, too.
Changing Your Life Can Help Others Change
Will others always be lifted up? No. But more often than the “only if” lie says.
(Only if my bald spot didn’t continue to grow. Only if I hadn’t used a chainsaw to trim the rose bushes. I know. I know. Bad idea. Let’s move on.)
How do you change your circle of influence right where you are? Connect with new people, especially offline. Also, read and listen to the kind of people who are living the change you want to be.
Without a positive circle of influence you will find it hard to show up each day to the worksite of self-improvement. Eventually, you’ll probably stop showing up all together.
The God Factor
Positive life change is often an advertised consequence of sincere religious commitment. Does life change follow a choice to become a Christian? It often does and should.
History is full of women and men whose lives were changed , sometimes instantly, sometimes gradually over years, after coming to faith or after beginning to take their faith seriously for the first time.
The fact that Christians often fail to live up to the high ideal of Jesus’ teachings about sacrificial love, service, and forgiveness should not be surprising. We are human, too. In fact, we should be among the first people to admit our faults, because that is a requirement of our faith. To many of us settle for a casual commitment to our faith, instead of one that transforms our lives.
I could go into details how being a Christian gives you several new sets of power sources, tools, motivations, and, circles of friends to approach your goals for life change. All of that is valuable and I think you can make some of those connections on your own. 💡
A Warning about Life Change and the Christian Faith
WARNING! Faith is not a magic wand to getting everything you want. Faith is not a magic wand to side stepping sorrow. Faith is also a journey. You do not know where you will be led once you accept Christ or begin taking your Christian faith more seriously. God will challenge you in ways you may resent at first, and you will have to deal with considerations others do not.
The Good News is that the house of your life that God has in mind for you is more marvelous, more enchanting, and more gratifying than anything you could conceive or achieve on your own. It’s not that as Christians we stop dreaming or stop having plans for our lives; hardly, rather our dreams and our plans are offered up to a greater dream and a greater plan for the sake of God and the sake of others.
The results will often be surprisingly, the way often hard, but the life, abundant.
(If you’re not ready for Religion yet, that’s ok. Try Rogaine instead.)
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Thanks Father Kevin. There’s much I can identify with. My journey continues. Still enjoy the humour. 😊 Happy new year.
Hi Kim. I’m glad you could find yourself in this post. I think most of us can. “My journey continues.”
That’s the key in pursuing life change, continuing.
Most of us give up, so we never achieve the goal, even ones that are reasonably within our reach. Happy New Year to you as well!
Thank you Father Goodrich, this is good advice. This is very good advice!
Barbara, I’m glad you found this piece helpful. The challenge of life change is often in the implementation. Thank you for your comment.